Relationship RED FLAGS..
Here are some of the excuses we might make for these red flags. They didn't mean it. They were in a bad mood. They have a lot of stress at work. Its my fault! It's not your fault!
Here are some signs of emotional abuse.
Jokes- This can be abusive, no matter what! Even if they say, it's a joke, its something that wears the victim down over time. It could be an insult disguised as a pet name. “My chunky little monkey” knowing you might be worried about your weight. Anything that pokes fun at your appearance. They will disguise as a cute pet name.
Character Annihilation - The main focus is on the word "ALWAYS" You're always nagging, you're always so paranoid. Underlining intent here is, the victim believes they the problem! ALWAYS.
Shouting - Screaming, and Cursing are intended to intimidate the victim and make them feel powerless.
Patronising- "you're not able for this, you wouldn't understand" Intention is to demean you and make you feel inferior.
Dismissive- You are speaking to them, and they ignore you. Body language can also be dismissive sighing or eye-rolling.
Sarcasm- Similar to Jokes! Its abuse in disguise, when the victim highlights the irony, the perpetrator claims to have been messing around, and they tell the victim to stop taking things seriously!
Snide comments on your appearance- Anyone that has experienced this will know how it feels. Their goal is for you to look continuously to them for approval on what to wear. If the tactic occurs enough times, the victim will only look to the perpetrator for approval.
Belittling – They will tell you your achievements mean nothing; even worse, they will attempt to take the recognition for your results.
Pushing your buttons- Once they realise what gets you annoyed, they will bring it up every single chance they can.
Monitoring- they will know where you go, when, and with who. In the beginning, it may be disguised as caring, but it's a tactic used to control.
Financial Control- even if it's your money, they will find a way to control it, possibly use emotional abuse, so you don't spend it. Accusing you of wasting money.
Lecturing- Pointing out all your faults and mistakes and describing how they would have done it better.
Unpredictable- by far the most confusing, walking on eggshells, not sure what's going on. On where you stand.
Using flying monkeys- Abusers often tell their victims; EVERYONE thinks your crazy, or they all say you're wrong.
Outburst- However, childlike they may be, they can also be terrifying and again unpredictable.
Jealousy- RED RED flag, Accusations of cheating, and flirting with others.
Accusing you- There are several tactics rolled into one here, turning the tables and trying to make it appear you are the abuser, denying the abuse has even occurred, blaming you and turning the tables on the entire incident.
Trivialising- When you mention your hurt feelings, they say it's ridiculous, and you are overreacting. "As usual, you're acting crazy."
Keeping you from socialising
Trying to push you away from Family & Friends
Dehumanising you- looking away when you're talking or stare at something, or plain ignore you when you want to talk about your relationship
Needy- When you're down and looking for support, they'll tell you you're needy.
Indifference- They see you crying or in pain and they don't even care they do nothing
The whole point of emotional abuse is to get the victim to doubt their reality. In doing this it allows the abuser complete control. The Victim relies solely on the abuser for comfort and support. However, because the abuser is only using them to validate themselves the victim never truly gets the support they crave.
Lastly, all of these signs don't have to be present to be a victim of emotional abuse. If any are present, it certainly is something to be mindful of, & keep a close eye on.